Sad fact: I have a new Journal that I bought three months ago sitting virtually empty on my coffee table. It’s not that I haven’t had anything to write. Just that I’ve been a little busy. And perhaps somewhat distracted. The holidays come around and I get very wrapped up in celebrating – with people, in that moment, enjoying the company of friends and family while I am surrounded by them. The other little things fall to the background. I don’t think that’s such a bad thing, so I refuse to feel guilty for it. But it’s time to open up those blank pages and begin filling them. I want it to be different this time.
If you know me at all you know that I’m very good at talking. I can hold a conversation with the best of them. But I’m not as good at listening. I sometimes find myself in a conversation where I feel like I’m competing to be heard, instead of just listening to what someone is telling me. This year, I want to learn to listen to people’s stories. To really hear what they’re saying. And I want to stop talking so much.
Most days Jordan will get into the car and she’ll tell me about someone’s life story that she learned that day - Simply because she listened to a lonely heart. Or asked a few questions – enough to draw someone out of themselves and tell her things they wouldn’t tell most people. And she has a greater appreciation for who they are than most people do. She gets to see them beyond the surface. I want to learn to do that.
When asking us about our goals for the year my friends pointed out to me a couple of weeks ago that the physical always reflects the spiritual. And I would definitely say it’s true that I need to learn to listen to the Lord more and stop talking so much. If there’s anything He has made abundantly clear to me in the past 6 months it’s that I am more than capable of hearing from Him. I have heard God speak through me more lately than I have in years. It’s been wonderful to learn the sound of the Shepherds voice again after thinking Him silent for so long. It’s been amazing to find the words given confirmed over and over. But now it’s time to hear Him for me.
It’s time for me to quiet my heart and mind before Him and hear what He has to say to me. What He wants to change in me. What He just wants me to know. To know Him. Because I’m not really sure I know His character as well as I thought I did. So this year I’m going to hear from Him. I want to fill my new journal with things the Lord is saying to me, instead of just my thoughts about myself. I’ve grown tired of talking about me. I want to know Him more. And I’m pretty sure it’s gonna change my life.